The Mental Load of Housework: How to Strike a Balance
Is housework causing stress or strain within your relationship? Are you a parent who works full time but still does most of the shopping, makes appointments, cooks, and sorts the kids’ lunches?
Time is our most precious asset, and women tend to bear the brunt of the housework and domestic chores when we could be doing something much more relaxing. Unfortunately there’s also guilt involved if our houses aren’t spick and span, causing a mad panic if unexpected guests or relatives drop in.
We’ve sourced some ways you can take a much more balanced approach, because life’s too short to worry about housework!
5 ways to help ease the mental load of housework:
Ask for outside help
Are you a new parent? If so, give yourself the time and space to adjust to your new routines and rhythms. Trying to manage housework with a new baby might just be one task too many when you’re trying to cope with so many new experiences. It’s ok to ask for help, either from your partner, a parent or a friend.
If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, take housework off your plate altogether for a while by outsourcing it us, we’re happy to help ease the transition so you can concentrate on your little one instead.
Take a break
Why is it that some people run around like headless chickens trying to get everything done while their partners chill out in front of the TV? Do your domestic responsibilities often feel lopsided?
We know you love and care for your family, and it may seem decadent to you, but you can take a break from housework for a day, a week or even a month, the world will still keep turning. However, if the thought of housework piling up stresses you out even more, give us a call!
A benefit of taking a break from housework is that it allows other members of the family to see the gaps and how much you actually do – and if things aren’t getting done, perhaps it will spark a conversation and lead to a resorting of these domestic tasks. Which leads nicely to our next tip….
Delegate the load
So you’ve put your foot down and decided you’re not touching a load of washing or mopping the kitchen floor for a week. You’re planning on ignoring the moans and groans of “why isn’t my favorite t-shirt clean?” or “why are there muddy dog prints on the floor?”
Taking a break is a good chance to identify what tasks you’re happy to do and what you really hate. It may be that you enjoy making the kids lunches but you really hate putting the garbage out or vice versa. Write a list (or create a spreadsheet) of all the household chores you do and include a space for everyone’s names at the top of the page. Go through it with your partner and children to reduce and redistribute your mental load of housework.
Also include a column named ‘no one’. There may be a whole heap of tasks that need to be done periodically but no one wants to do them. Leave that column to us!! We can tailor a cleaning plan for those fiddly chores like cleaning the oven and fridge, window washing and tile/grout cleaning, a much better solution.
Reduce expectations
If you’re used to taking on 100% of the mental load of housework then you might find it hard to delegate tasks to other family members. But take note, when you do it it means you are not responsible for this task any more. In other words, you cannot judge how the task is performed moving forward. If you strive for perfection this approach may take some practice! But it’s essential not to hover, supervise, criticize or do it again yourself after its been done. Instead, take a step back, be supportive and let others learn from their mistakes.
Accept that you won’t have a perfect house or children
By giving up the majority of the mental load of housework, you not only gain physical freedom but also mental space in your head to let you think about more pleasant and productive things. You move into a state of acceptance that your perfect house and children may never exist, but that’s ok and perhaps life is more interesting and enjoyable this way?
Breathing easier yet? We hope so, and remember we’re here to help you with part or all of your housework load depending on your situation. Give us call today to discuss your needs! We are happy to customize a plan that works best for you and your family 🙂
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